Maybe wishes were just meant to be wishes because reality would spoil the magic of it all...
its an interesting conversation to be had with oneself or even yet another. Such a boundless bounded word that many willfully follow and chase. i can find myself chasing and wanting that dream, yet having that dream fulfilled is possibly the most terrifying aspect in the world to me. I suppose because it significantly means we are NOT alone. There is yet another we must and have to verify and validate our connection to. To being bounded with another soul and human-being. It feeds our stability, it feeds our purpose. In-born love is easy. It's factual and concretely there to explain. But the emotions expressed from one stranger to another will forever be unexplainable to me. Or maybe it wont be, but for now I think it will. There's that tiny tendency where you find yourself talking in circles. Wavering back and forth like a palm tree during a hurricane. We test the bending abilities of ourselves and our partners. Why? For the insignificant satisfaction that we can. There's this sadistic factor of it all. Without pain there is no gain. Maybe the physical factors of scars hold a tendency to be true with our metaphysical emotional scars we begin to carry at birth. Could there be a correlation? Are they faceted just the same? Scar tissue is thicker and we must travel deeper in-order to make a significant standing in oneself. Perhaps its upon getting to know someone, you find their scars, you find their wounds, your find their weakness to build upon. You take that virtue of their "I will never.." to your "I just did..." Its a cruel game those play to build upon wounds of another so you yourself won't feel any. And then there is that golden heart of true and healthy virtue that we all wish and dream to exist. Call me a little melancholic or a little pessimistic or defeatist, but with my life; you couldn't blame me. I'm not so sure that it would exist for me, none of us are. But we all carry a little beam of light called HOPE. There's hope for everyone, a small one, but hope none the less. And the only reason that I believe in this hope, is because I see that it exists. To see is to believe, to feel is to know, to see and know provide truth. Perhaps this is where I turn the corner and jackhammer my concrete heart. But we're still a moment and a half away from that. I have been blessed to completely alter my life. I've made more changes than I think I possibly could have in this past year. I've come to truly say the words: "I'm proud of myself." I'm proud to say that. Honestly it's solely because I've been surrounded by two very important people that have been able to love me as if i was their own. To see the love, to know the love, to feel the love; its been my greatest weakness and strength ever given to me. We all have hardened hearts built on fear, resistance, and personal protection. Ultimately it all befalls on one word- FEAR. We're afraid. No one likes to be afraid. It puts us into the category of vulnerability. If were vulnerable, we're susceptible- to everything. It's the leap of faith that we take every blue moon out of courage. "There's nothing to fear but fear itself." Right? It's just like that magical kiss from our parents that we receive at bedtime. It's that kiss of strength. It's that kiss of love. It's that kiss that allows us to know the Boogie Man can't eat us, the Monsters under the bed can't scare us, that Freddy can't touch us, and that Chucky can just well "Suck It!" That loving kiss of light gives us strength and armor. That simple little kiss surrounds us in armor molded of gold by the best blacksmith in town. Its LOVE that comes to protect us; not FEAR. It's LOVE that comes to heal us. It's LOVE that comes to comfort us. And it's that love we want to find. It's that love that we want. It's that love that we need. All because we know that it exists. And its in that moment from that simple kiss we all learn to know:
We all have our prince and princess custom molded for us, waiting just for us...
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