She Said It, Not I

"...The sole of souls to claim your disposition. To make a mark and leave it there for you to decipher alone. A seed of tranquility that is planted in a touch, a reflection of you in the iris of the eye. 6 months. 6 months. In 6 months you will begin your intended journey…"

-She said it, not I-

But here I sit, 

I falsified my feelings and buried them with fear. 

I never fully accepted the fact that I could, that I would, that- I AM.

Walked on day after day letting it trickle a path of innocent intrigue. Words are exchanged. I am left hanging. Hanging to wait for the next utterance to be said… A guard that was innately present is melted. Melted in a moment and vulnerability took it's dangerous course.

Unknowingly a seed was planted, it's covered by the melted maille to cultivate and forge a growth-

An awkward connection, a specific distinction, an incongruent congruency of awkward halves to one whole asymmetry. Thus, this is it.

It is WHAT SHE SAID…

I fought myself and swallowed my word vomit for fear that if the universe heard my heart, it would then be real. Her words from moons past replay across me. They are never fully ceasing. But I feel foolish for even entertaining the possible idea of hers to even be true. Her truth is THE truth. 

The realization of my heart is this; I AM SCARED.

So I retreat back. Not to utter a word, and I suppress my possible hearts "unknowing" desire that this possible is THE POSSIBLE TRUTH. It has taken many moon-full nights, to conceivably accept her word. And I am here still battling with this truth. 

The seed of possible possibilities is sprouting through the maille. 

I failed- 

My battle is now ACCEPTANCE.